Grounding

GROUNDING

Do you feel calm, centered, grounded, regulated?  Or are you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, stressed out to the max?  The extreme of these feelings when the emotions are so powerful that your reaction seems out of the norm is called Dysregulation.  

Dysregulation - Emotional dysregulation as defined by WebMD is a term used to describe an emotional response that is poorly regulated and does not fall within the traditionally accepted range of emotional reaction. It may also be referred to as marked fluctuation of mood, mood swings, or labile mood. When someone is experiencing emotional dysregulation, they may have angry outbursts, anxiety, depression, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and other self-damaging behaviors. My brother, Gary, used the term "wigging out" to describe this state. Which is listed and defined in the Webster's dictionary: Wigging out - mentally or emotionally discomposed: upset, crazy. Whatever term you want to use, if your stress levels are causing you to wig out, you need some tools to help you regain your composure and handle the present moment overwhelming emotions.  This is when GROUNDING can be helpful.  

Being "Grounded" is defined by the Miriam Webster dictionary as: mentally and emotionally stable: admirably sensible, realistic, and unpretentious. When I teach Tai Chi, Breathing Exercises, Chanting Mantra, Yoga postures, walking the Labyrinth, and Tapping these are all intended to help you Ground. Grounding is a physical connection to the Earth. Being grounded enables you to deal with things from a centered, solid, foundation. Perhaps you know people or feel yourself being ungrounded, which often means head in the clouds, airy, and flighty, prone to outbursts and temper tantrums, injuries from not paying attention.

I am currently teaching Crainosacral Therapy for Healing Hands School of Massage, and in this course we discuss Autonomic Flexibility, a phrase coined by Dr. John Upledger the developer of modern Craniosacral therapy.  Our emotional state is governed by our nervous system.  When we are under stress, in danger, have a deadline, etc. our Sympathetic nervous system is activated sending adrenaline and cortisol into our body to allow us to Fight, Flee, or Freeze (the fight or flight response) as ways to deal with the Stress/Danger.  When the stress is gone our body is supposed to relax and the Parasympathetic nervous system takes over, allowing our body to rest, digest and heal.  Unfortunately, many of us are bombarded with perceived on-going stresses that never allow that Parasympathetic response to kick in, causing us to have insomnia, tight/tense muscles, TMJ syndrome (Jaw tension/pain, teeth grinding), headaches, and a host of other stress related discomforts or diseases.  Autonomic Flexibility is our ability to shift efficiently from sympathetic to parasympathetic, in other words to Ground ourselves and relax and not let the constant stress and hyper-arousal dominate us. The more often we practice the following methods and exercises, the more adept we will become at encountering stress and not allowing it to adversely affect us — to be able to shift out of our stressed emotional state into a more centered, relaxed state.

Methods for grounding from overwhelming emotions that cause dysregulation include:
Physical Grounding - focusing on your body and your senses
Mental Grounding - focusing your mind and thoughts
Soothing and Positive self-talk - finding catch phrases, poems, songs, music, chanting that shift your attention. 

It is best to find practices that feel Good to you personally and embrace them to create your own personal calming routine. Below are some ideas:

PHYSICAL GROUNDING techniques:
Breathing Focus - Start with 3 conscious deep inhalations with a sigh or sound on the out breath.  This is my personal favorite and go-to technique.  Then count your D E E P inhalation to a count of four, and your S L O W exhalation to a count of four. If you want to take it a step further, notice the pause between Inhaling and Exhaling and hold that pause progressively longer. Start with 1 second, then 2 seconds until you are doing 4-part breath to a count of 4 or 5 seconds: INHALE-4 seconds, Hold at the top-4 seconds, EXHALE-4 seconds, Hold at the bottom-4 seconds.  Any focused breathing pattern can be grounding and bring you into a calm space. If you've taken breath work training or a yoga class and have a favorite breath exercise from there, use that one.  
Rub your thighs - Place your hands on your thighs and rub slowly. Tune in to the feel of your clothing, body temperature, tension or softness under your palms. Then tune in to the sensations in your thighs as they are being rubbed. You could also rub your palms together for a similar affect.
Stomp your Feet (or rub them back and forth if you need to be quiet) - if you are seated, stomp or march in place. If you are standing march, stomp in place or around the available area. You could even jump up and down.  With each step say "I - Am - Here." This helps you feel your connection to the earth and brings you into the present moment.
Clench and Release your Fists, then your Toes, then your Perineum (Kegles) - these can all be done anywhere without anyone else noticing. Count how many you do of each, perhaps start with 10 repetitions, then do another cycle or two.  
Touching Objects - Touch various objects around you, the arms of your chair, a pen, a seashell, a rock (in your pocket), your clothing, a piece of jewelry you are wearing, a table, the walls, a banister, etc.  Explore the texture, weight, temperature of the object. Compare the objects you touch.

MENTAL GROUNDING techniques:
GRATITUDE list - Read or recite things, people, places you are grateful for. It helps to do this often and have it written somewhere easily accessible, like in Notes on your phone. Think of at least 10 things, then repeat them as necessary.

ENVIRONMENT inventory - Take note of what is in your field of vision.  Notice. Describe silently to yourself or aloud using all your senses. What do you see? There are 3 white walls and 1 green wall. There are 4 black chairs. There is a 4-tier wooden bookshelf filled with lots of books on the north wall. I smell the 12 yellow roses in the cut crystal vase on the table. The carpet under my feet is burber style and off-white; it feels lumpy under my bare feet. I see the number 2 three times: on the clock it is 2:25pm and on the thermostat it is 72 degrees. Etc.

Play the "CATEGORIES" game mentally with yourself - Pick a category and name as many types of that thing as you can think of: types of Dogs, types of toppings on Pizza, types of Sports, names of Cities, names of Mountains, types of Trees, types of Flowers, etc. 

MANTRA - Repeat a word, phrase or sound over and over.  Sometimes it is best to use a Sanskrit word or group of words, as your mind will connect with the vibrational sound of it rather than the meaning. Other times, mentally repeating something meaningful can have a calming effect. This is how many meditation practices work. You focus your attention on the mantra or sound and repeat it. When other thoughts come, you notice them, and gently bring your attention back to the mantra.  Some suggested Mantras are: "OM" "ONG" "SAT NAM" "SO HUM" "WAH HEY GURU." If you have a favorite mantra or sound use that.

SOOTHING AND POSITIVE SELF-TALK techniques:
POSITIVE "I AM" STATEMENTS - I am Grounded, I am Calm, I am Centered, I am Strong, I am Powerful, I am in Control, I am Beautiful, I am Loving, I am Loved, I am Peaceful, I am Joyful, I am Tolerant, etc.

Recall and repeat a favorite Poem, Song, Quotation (especially something you find inspirational): if you don't have it memorized (and it is helpful to memorize something) have it written in an easily accessible place, like in Notes on your phone. Anyone who has been in AA uses the Serenity prayer for this.  I like the "Loving Treatment" saying from Louise Hay, and  "My Favorite Things" song from the Sound of Music. It can be something simple from childhood like the "Row, Row Row your Boat" song, or the "Bare Necessities" song from Jungle Book.  Anything that will shift your energy and bring you into an altered focus, from Stress to Calm.

Listen to a favorite song - I actually have a "let it go" playlist of songs that remind me to let things go and make me feel good. Singing along with the music helps.

TAPPING - is a technique that combines all three types of Grounding techniques and is very powerful to not only shift your present moment emotional upheaval but to help you disconnect pattern responses you may have had for years. With Tapping, you physically stimulate acupressure points by gently tapping on them. You engage mentally by first stating what emotions are present or coming up for you, and then you apply Positive self-talk by stating how you would like to feel as you continue tapping on the points. To learn how to tap, watch this You-Tube video:
Learn the Tapping Points video: https://youtu.be/pAclBdj20ZU

Autonomic Flexibility is achieved when we practice, practice, practice all these techniques and other centering, grounding practices like receiving Massage, doing Yoga, Tai Chi, regular daily Meditation and Mindfulness exercises that enable us to consciously and intentionally activate the parasympathetic nervous system and drop into that calm relaxed state of being. As soon as you feel the anger, anxiety, fear or other emotions start to come up, quickly do one of your Grounding Techniques.  I invite you to try each of these out and then pick your three favorite methods to do every day to create your own personal calm.